Full Figured 8 Page 4

  My leg twitched. “Okay, so how about we keep it real then? What are you trying to accomplish here, Loyal? Is it ‘turn out a lesbian’ week for you or something?”

  Loyal’s laugh echoed through my kitchen and into the hallway. He walked closer putting his arm on my shoulder. “Rayne, can’t I just want to be your friend and get to know you better? Why does there have to be an ulterior motive? We work together don’t we? I already told you I’m not going to sleep with you.”

  “You aren’t going to sleep with me but you can kiss my half-naked ass and shit. Get the fuck outta here with that.” I pushed his arm off of me.

  Loyal finished the glass of wine in one gulp. He put the glass down on my countertop. My arms were folded as I stared at him waiting to hear what he would come up with next.

  “Rayne.” Loyal smiled. “I told you already what the business is but that isn’t good enough for you. So why don’t you tell me what you want from me or what you want me to say?”

  The question was harder than I thought. I didn’t know what I wanted from him. One side of me wanted him to hold me like he did the other night, while another side wanted him to leave before things became complicated for real. This man had already seen more than any man. Why was I so comfortable with him?

  “You got an answer because I would really like to know why the lesbian seems to be so concerned with why I won’t try to bang her.”

  “Because ...”

  “Because what?” It was obvious he wasn’t going to change the subject.

  “I don’t know.” I threw my hands up in defeat.

  Silence filled the room.

  We didn’t speak as Loyal took me by my hands and guided me into my living room. He motioned for me to sit next to him on the couch. He put his hands on my knees and stared deep into my eyes. “Rayne, talk to me. What’s going on in that brilliant head of yours?”

  He seemed so sincere I felt like I could tell him anything. “Loyal, I don’t know what is happening to me. All I do know is that I haven’t been touched or held the way you did the other day in ... I honestly can’t say when the last time was. I liked it. I don’t know why, but I really liked it.”

  “So are you saying you want more than that?” He kept his eyes on me.

  “I don’t know what I want. I just know I liked that.”

  Loyal took his eyes off of me only to glance down for a quick second before focusing his attention back to me. He rubbed his hands on my knee. It was very endearing.

  “Could it be that because you have been denying yourself pleasure for so long that now your body is craving it from anyone or anywhere?”

  I shook my head. “I thought about that, but I see hundreds of people every day. Hell I get hit on all the time but I haven’t been attracted to anyone outside of you.”

  Loyal’s devilish grin appeared. “So you admit you are attracted to me?” He winked.

  I playfully hit him on his shoulder. “You already knew that, which is why you keep teasing me and shit.”

  We both laughed. The laugher was short as I quickly noticed the intense, serious look that appeared on his face.

  “Rayne, you want me to keep it real with you. I will do that now. I think you are an amazing woman, and you are cool as shit. To me, that is sexier than any size six out there. I would like nothing more than to show you what real pleasure you have been missing out on for so long, but I just can’t.”

  “Why?” I couldn’t believe I asked the question. I found myself wanting to know why he was denying me what he claimed to want and what I was starting to believe I wanted just as bad.

  “Rayne we have already gone over this.”

  “Well refresh my memory,” I folded my arms.

  “Well one, we work together and sit next to each other. You already know the business; yes, I fuck off with other woman up there and that isn’t going to change. I don’t give a fuck about those bitches; most I fuck and never talk to again. With you I wouldn’t want to do that because I actually want to develop a friendship with you. Plus on top of all of that you haven’t been with a man in so fucking long, it would be like I’m with a virgin and that brings a whole different group of issues. I can fuck you; I can make you feel like you have never felt before. But I will never be a boyfriend or anything like a boyfriend. And no matter what your mouth says I know in the end you aren’t going to be satisfied with that.”

  The words stuck in my brain. I figured he messed with other girls but since no one had ever made an actual claim to him I figured they were all just groupies. The second half then hit me. He didn’t want to sleep with me because he thought I would catch feelings. Crazy enough, denying me only made me want him even more.

  “Loyal ...” I said as I stood up. I began to pace the floor. I wanted to make sure the right words came out. I finished off the last of my wine. My body was aching for some affection and it was calling Loyal’s name. In that moment nothing else mattered. I didn’t care that I was a lesbian or that we worked together. I could feel the aggressive side of me coming out. He had laid a challenge without even knowing it.

  “I get everything you are saying and yes, it all makes perfect sense. However, there are a few things you are saying that I need to correct. Like I said earlier I am not driven by sex. Sex is not something that will ever or has ever made me fall for a person. If I fell for you it would be you as a person not what you do to my body. Second, I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I have a career I am trying to launch and nothing is more important than that. The most I could possibly be is a fluffer.”

  “A fluffer?” Loyal questioned.

  “Yes. You know how in porn there are the girls who get the guys ready for the main scenes? Well, the most you would be able to do is come by, knock me off something, then go your merry way.”

  I never heard him laugh so hard before. I watched as he cracked up over my fluffer statement. It took him a minute to gain his composure after the laugh.

  “Rayne, I hear what you are saying but you gotta understand how many times I have heard that.”

  “So you are judging me off other women?” I crossed my arms.

  “I am just saying I am trying to protect you from yourself here.”

  I wasn’t sure where the aggressive side was coming from. I sat back down next to Loyal. Curiosity was about to kill my cat and I didn’t care. “Maybe I don’t want or need to be protected.”

  I put my hands on his True Religion jeans. I unbuttoned the top button and pulled the zipper down. Loyal shook his head, but didn’t resist what I was doing. I smiled. Just like I thought everything about him was polished; even his briefs were Ralph Lauren. My hand slid down the inside of his pants. I was shocked at the thickness I felt. I wasn’t an expert but I knew that had to be pretty big.

  “Rayne.”

  I ignored him calling my name. I pulled his erect penis out of the slit in his briefs. My eyes bulged as I saw it for the first time. It was bigger than even I had imagined. There was no way I thought that thing was ever going to fit inside of me.

  “Scared yet?” Loyal smiled.

  “A little bit,” I replied.

  “Don’t be. Come here.”

  Loyal pulled me closer to him. I knew what was coming next. His hand touched the back of my head. I pulled back quickly.

  “I don’t know what I am doing.”

  “Just try,” Loyal said as he pulled my head closer.

  It was now or never. I tried to remember the last time I ever gave head. It was something I used to do just to get out of having sex with my boyfriends. I would always prefer giving head over penetration. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth.

  To my surprise his penis didn’t have a smell or bad taste. There wasn’t any unwanted hair as his manhood was just as manicured as the rest of him.

  I licked the tip, tasting a bit of pre-cum coming out of the tip. My lips wrapped around his shaft. I let the tip of my tongue graze his protruding vein as I sucked his dick. I heard him moan my name. I stopped
and looked up at him. He opened his eyes.

  “Why did you stop?” he whispered.

  “I didn’t know if I was doing it right.” I tried to study his face to see if I was actually pleasing him.

  “If you weren’t, I would tell you,” Loyal whispered.

  This pleased me. I suddenly wanted to please him more. I got on my knees in front of him. I held on to his shaft with my left hand while my mouth worked up and down with the flow of my hand movements. With every moan I only wanted to please him more. I wasn’t surprised. The sounds of a woman moaning always made me want to please them more. I was just shocked it was working on a man as well.

  I wondered how deep I could go. I pushed his dick deep inside my mouth until I couldn’t take anymore. I could feel myself about to gag. I came back up for air before trying again. He let out a louder moan as his hand tried to push my head deeper again. I pushed up for air without letting go of his hard erection.

  He was lasting longer than any guy I’d known in my high school years. I jacked him off while sucking his thick penis but there were no signs of him cuming anytime soon. My panties were soaking wet. I wanted more. I wanted to feel his hands on me. I pulled back and looked at him. His eyes were bright with astonishment.

  “Damn, girl. Are you sure you are gay?” Loyal shook his head as I sat back on the couch. “Fuck, girl, that was amazing.”

  “Quit playing.” I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t need him trying to gas my head up.

  “I am not.”

  The look on his face made me believe he was telling the truth.

  Out of nowhere Loyal pushed me back on the couch. He pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my bra up exposing both of my breasts. His big hands held on to my DDDs with force as his mouth became very familiar with my right nipple. I bit my lip. It was much more aggressive than with any stud I had ever dated. His hands could easily hold on to my large breast, and his mouth commanded them with vengeance.

  I suddenly wanted even more. I wanted to know what his mouth would feel like in other areas. I needed head and I needed it bad. I mimicked him from earlier, putting my hand on his head and pushing him down to my area. He moved my hands from off his head and stared at me. He grabbed each of my legs and pulled me into his torso. Loyal buried his head in my panties, licking the wetness off of the cotton boy shorts. He pushed the small piece of fabric out of the way with his nose as his tongue entered my walls.

  My mouth dropped as Loyal began to lick me with an aggression I definitely wasn’t used to. It felt a bit strange. I could feel the small hairs pricking me from his goatee. The softness I was used to was gone; there was nothing soft about the way he licked me. I felt my stomach starting to knot up. My legs began to tremble. If his tongue skills were any indication of the rest of his sexual prowess I knew now why women would fall for him.

  My right leg jerked with every nibble. My left leg quivered with each figure eight on my clit. He pressed his lips tight on my clit as he stuck his right index finger inside of me. My body was on high alert. I wanted to run so I began to scoot my butt back on the couch.

  “No, you asked for it.” Loyal came up for breath long enough to utter the statement before reclaiming my pussy as his personal property. He held on to my legs, locking me in so I couldn’t move. My legs began to tense as my toes curled. I hit his massive arms but my hits were ignored. My mouth dropped as I flooded in his mouth.

  “Damn, girl.”

  I couldn’t move. Finally after a minute I opened my eyes to find him looking at me. I looked down to see my wetness all over his white tee. I covered my mouth in embarrassment.

  “I’m so sorry.” I wanted to stand up but my legs wouldn’t let me.

  “It’s cool. You really did need that.” Loyal stood up and pulled the white tee over his head. For the first time I got to admire his upper body completely naked. He was a vision. I could see each line where his muscles protruded. His stomach was chiseled, with a six pack most men only achieved with Photoshop.

  “I actually have a shirt you can have.”

  My legs began to work again as Loyal helped me off the couch. He followed me to my bedroom where I pulled a white tee out of a bag that was still in the plastic wrapping.

  “What do you just keep them around for times like this?” Loyal laughed.

  “No, ass, I keep them for my work. I work in them.”

  Loyal put the tee over his head. I suddenly felt embarrassed by the way the shirt swallowed him.

  “So when are you going to work out with me?” I sat on the edge of my bed.

  “When you are really ready to work out.” Loyal sat next to me. With his finger he turned my head around toward his face. He made eye contact and didn’t take his eyes off of mine.

  “Rayne, I will help you in whatever way you want. You want to get healthy that’s cool, but do it for that reason and not because you just want to be skinny. Did it seem like I had any problem with your body earlier?”

  I shook my head. He didn’t skip a beat when going down on me, which was a change for me. I was used to people pausing, wondering if the big girl was going to suffocate them or smell bad. The oral sex no longer mattered to me. Loyal was pulling at my emotional strings with just being kind.

  We walked to my hallway. I was starting to dread the entrance to my house. Loyal put his arms around me, pulling me close into him. “You promise not to change on me?”

  “I promise.”

  With that he sealed the night with a deep, longing kiss. I didn’t want the kiss to end, and I didn’t want him to leave. I stood by the door for a few moments. I closed my eyes hoping he might surprise me and knock back on the door. After a few moments I finally gained all my composure back. I felt artistic. I headed straight into my studio and back to the sculpture.

  I began to wet the bottom portion of the sculpture until it began to move. The clay began to form with my touch. I no longer wanted to stop at the torso, it needed to show more. I formed thighs, thick legs that weren’t perfect by any means. I didn’t smooth them; I let the clay form the tiny dimples in various portions of the legs. I formed a delicate vagina hump in the middle. I thought about making it more realistic but changed my mind.

  My clock went off alerting me that once again time had gotten away from me and it was three in the morning. I stretched. My body ached from sitting on the stool for such a long period of time. A cool breeze hit my body, catching the tiny hairs on the back of my neck. A feeling came over me, causing my stomach to knot up. I grabbed my stomach and closed my eyes.

  Loyal was grabbing my body like it belonged to him. His hands pulled my legs causing me not to move. I could feel his head in between my legs, his mouth devouring me like I was the last meal he would ever enjoy. His strong hands grabbed my breasts with his thick index finger rubbing my swollen nipples.

  I inhaled and opened my eyes. It was all a dream. He wasn’t there but I felt him as much in that moment as I did earlier that night. A very uneasy feeling was settling over me. I was a fish in shark territory and I couldn’t help but think that I would be the one hurt in the end.

  Chapter 6

  Why were wedding shops so white? I sat in the fancy bridal shop while my best friend tried on what had to be the thousandth dress. The white couch made me nervous. Why people insisted on white couches I would never understand.

  “All right this one isn’t so bad.” Bianca walked out in a mermaid-style dress with a tulle bottom. The top was covered in rhinestones, which I knew was right up her alley. She insisted on trying on dresses in all the major stores in Memphis and Atlanta just because she could. Bianca was rich and marrying a very wealthy up-and-coming surgeon. What he and her fabulous family didn’t know was that we met at a gay club dancing on the floor where by the end of the night I had my fingers inside of her in a booth in the back of the club. We screwed around a few times after that before becoming really good friends.

  “Bianca, seriously, you are about to make me kill you.”

 
“You don’t like it?”

  Even the attendants rolled their eyes at her statement.

  “Bitch, we have been in this store for almost two hours. You have tried on some of the exact same dresses you have tried on in other stores. I am not about to go through this with you.”

  Bianca curled her stringy blond hair around her finger. She turned to both sides to get a full look at the dress.

  “I really did want to go ball gown,” Bianca said as she bit her bottom lip.

  “Kill me now.” I fell back on the couch.

  I pulled out my sketchpad and a pencil. I began to sketch a quick dress on the pad. The attendant assigned to us walked over, admiring my drawing. Bianca sat next to me as I designed her ball gown dress that was fit for the princess she thought she was.

  “This is what I imagine for you, my friend. The bottom is big, ball gown, to give you that classic romance but with a halter neckline for your sexy side and because, well we know how you like to push those bad boys up.” I smiled at Bianca who was grinning from ear to ear.

  The attendant motioned for someone to come over but I continued to draw.

  “The top should be covered in crystals because we both know you aren’t wearing something that isn’t.”

  “My friend knows me so well.” Bianca playfully hit my shoulder.

  We both looked up to see the assistant standing with the male manager and another woman who I figured was the seamstress by the pins stuck on her smock. I held the picture up. “Do you guys have anything that is similar?”

  “Not similar. I want this.”

  I noticed how quickly Bianca went from playful to power bitch when she wanted something. That was one of the things I learned from being around her. When you have money the world is yours. In moments a team was together bringing fabric samples and similar dresses to the one I designed. My mind drifted off while Bianca pointed her fingers and had things her way. I couldn’t help but wonder what Loyal was doing. I had taken the day off to be with Bianca, but the real reason was simple: I just wasn’t ready to be around him.