Full Figured 8 Page 3

  “See. That reaction in itself lets me know you are in definite need of some really good sex.”

  I forced myself to turn around. Our eyes met, our bodies so close I could feel the heat coming from him. I pushed him back. “Oh, so that’s what this about? You wanted to come here so you could try to seduce the gay girl?”

  “No. I didn’t say you needed sex from me. I said you just need sex in general. I don’t know why you feel like I’m trying to fuck you, Rayne.”

  “Because of shit like that whole touching my neck thing. Come on, Loyal, you are not stupid. Every girl gets heated when a person touches them there. The nape of the neck is worse than a forehead kiss.”

  Loyal nodded his head. The right side of his mouth curled up into a grin. “Rayne, sweetie, I’m not trying to fuck you.” Loyal walked back over to the painting. “I think you are very talented but honestly you are not my type.”

  The words felt like a punch in my gut. I knew deep down that someone as gorgeous as Loyal would never be interested in the big girl who sat next to him, no matter how talented I might be. I didn’t know if my face showed my feelings but Loyal immediately started shaking his head.

  “I know you think that it’s probably because of your size but it’s not. You are not my type because you are gay and you work with me. I don’t need those types of problems.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Loyal sat down on my stool. He put his head down to think for a moment before raising it back to look at me. “You said yourself, you’ve seen like at least four girls at my desk. Well take that number and multiply it by at least seven and you will have the amount of women who try to get at me on a daily basis. The ones who I have messed off with are still trying to get it again. When was the last time you were with a man?”

  “Fourteen years.”

  “Yeah, no.” Loyal shook his head. “Hell no, I might as well be fucking a virgin. I don’t want those problems.”

  “So you think if I let you fuck me I would be all dickmatized or something?”

  “Rayne, I don’t think. I know.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I couldn’t believe the audacity of this guy to sit in my house and speak so cocky about himself. I started thinking about the two guys I had actually had sex with in my life. Both of them boasted about their sexual ability but I was left highly unsatisfied both times. I didn’t even let my women strap or penetrate me because the thought of vaginal sex was appalling to me.

  “Okay, Loyal, whatever you say.” I picked up the sheet and placed it back over my painting. I suddenly had an attitude.

  “What is wrong with you?” Loyal’s ability to pick up on everything about me was starting to piss me off.

  “Because honestly I think you are full of shit. I think you came over here with intentions of seeing how hot and bothered you could make the lesbian just to see if you could. But I also think you never had any intention of trying me because like most you aren’t attracted to big girls. That whole spiel you gave was some bullshit and you know it.”

  “Rayne, this has nothing to do with your body.”

  “That’s what they all say.” I could almost envision my last girlfriend standing in the same place he was standing feeding me all the similar garbage as to why we just weren’t going to work out. In the end she left me for a size-six girl with long weave and fake eyelashes.

  “Take off your clothes.”

  I knew I didn’t hear him right. I turned around to see Loyal staring at me with an even deeper intensity.

  “Excuse me?” I felt my hands tensing up again.

  “I said take off your clothes, Rayne.”

  “What?”

  Loyal stood up. He started to walk toward me. I looked to my right and left. I had nowhere to run to.

  “You want real, so I’m going to give you real. Your work is amazing, but it also is like looking directly into your soul.” Loyal pointed at the other sculptures in the room. “Look at your work. The hands are all very similar until you get to this new one.”

  I felt my heart starting to race. Loyal walked up until our bodies were almost touching.

  “That one, you weren’t dreaming of a girl. You were dreaming of a man.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.” Loyal nodded his head. “You know I am right. The body, the hands, it’s you and it’s a man’s hands on you. Rayne, you may not be straight. But your body is yearning for something stronger than you are used to.”

  Loyal put his hands on my sides. I felt a wave of emotion come over me. He held on to my sides tight, gripping my thickness with his strong hands. Loyal pulled me into him. I couldn’t resist. I didn’t want to.

  “See? Your mind might not know what you want. But your body sure does. Now let me see you.”

  I couldn’t respond. I didn’t know what was happening. This beautiful man was in my personal space, holding on to me like I belonged to him. My brain was telling me to stop, but my body was telling me to give him whatever he wanted.

  Loyal tried to pull my shirt over my head but I pulled away. I took a few steps back.

  “What are you doing?” he questioned.

  “I don’t let anyone see me naked.”

  “Wait what?” Loyal looked confused.

  “I don’t get naked.”

  “When you are having sex you don’t get naked?” He cocked his head to the side.

  “No. I always have on a shirt.”

  “What type of punk bitches are you messing with?” Loyal rushed up on me. He pulled me close again. “I want to see you.” He pulled at my shirt again.

  I pulled away again. “I said I don’t get naked.”

  “Rayne.”

  A deep silence came over the room as we stared at each other. Loyal walked up to me again. He didn’t grab me this time. He placed his hands on my sides again. I felt an unusual sensation come over me. I felt extremely comfortable. Loyal slowly pulled my shirt over my head. I allowed the shirt to come off. I stood there with just my jeans and bra. I tried to put my hands in front of my stomach to camouflage my rolls.

  Loyal sat down on the stool in front of me. He pulled my hands down. I watched as he stared at my body. He began to explore my upper body with his hands. His hands felt different, mainly from the hardness from working out with no gloves. His hands rested on my sides. Loyal pulled me into him again. His mouth met my right side. He kissed my side before he started to suck in the same place. I felt my knees trying to give way. I held on to his broad shoulders with my hands until he pulled away.

  “Just so you know, your size has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I don’t give a fuck about your size. Only bitch-ass people give a damn about how a person looks and they don’t deserve you to begin with.”

  Loyal stood up with my shirt in his hand. He put it back over my head as I put my arms back into the sleeves. I didn’t know what was happening. Why was he dressing me? I knew it had been awhile but I thought more clothes were supposed to come off.

  “You are an amazing girl, Rayne.” Loyal pulled me close hugging me.

  I put my arms around him, accepting his strong embrace. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so safe in a person’s arms. He kissed me on my forehead just to further fuck with me. Loyal took me by my hand and led me out of the room and to my front door.

  I was dumfounded. I knew I had to be having an out-of-body experience. We couldn’t really be walking to the front door like he was about to leave. But another piece of me was just completely confused by the whole thing. Why did I want this man to stay?

  “Thank you for letting me see all of this. I really do feel special right now.”

  Loyal was back in his usual professional mode. I wanted to shake the shit out of him. Not only did he just see my body, and kiss me like I had never been kissed before, but now he wanted to leave like it never happened.

  “Umm, okay.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t going to beg him to stay, even in this heated state; I wasn’t th
e type of girl to beg anyone for anything. And in my brain I knew it was a good thing that he left. I didn’t know what any of this night meant. I needed time to process.

  I watched him walk out the door. I closed my door behind him. I couldn’t move. I stood against the door trying to replay the night in my head. This wasn’t making sense in my head. I just let a man see me half naked and I let him kiss me in a place most had never seen before. But what was more perplexing to me was that he didn’t try anything more with me. This wasn’t the way I remembered men to be. I finally forced myself to walk back to my studio.

  In just a few minutes my world was turned upside down. I couldn’t come to terms with the feelings I was having. I was nervous because a man had just left my house, yet I was anxious because I wanted him to stay. I was also mad at myself that I let him touch me, but angrier that he left me hot and bothered. Was I actually interested in a guy? Still the thought of a penis anywhere near me made my stomach turn, but his hands on me felt so comfortable, and familiar.

  I sat down in front of the sculpture. I picked up my scalpel and carved out small markings. I looked at it to see a perfect set of bite marks on the right side. I couldn’t help but smile as I touched my own skin. I didn’t think I ever felt the feeling he had given me with just that simple touch. Out of all the emotions going through me one stood out more than any. I was curious.

  Chapter 5

  Monday came quicker than I expected. I got a good amount of work done but also was able to get some really good sleep in. I found myself not wanting to wake up most times. My dreams were back. Now I had a face to go with the hands. I could picture Loyal’s eyes, lips, and the amazing arms he had. I couldn’t believe I was lusting over a man.

  It didn’t hit me until I saw his car parked in the lot. I was about to be face to face with the guy who had opened my personal Pandora’s box. I wasn’t ready to see him. I pulled a brush out of my car and brushed my hair back before putting a headband on to hide my edges. I grabbed a small compact of eye shadow and put a little pink on to match my pink shirt. I put some lip gloss on before realizing I only had a few minutes to get into work.

  “Oh shhh now!”

  I stopped in my tracks at the sound of Camille’s loud voice. I turned to see her and another coworker, Sabrina, walking toward me. Both were smiling and pointing at me.

  “Bitch, who you dressing up for?” Camille ran her fingers through my hair.

  “You look so pretty, Rayne.” Sabrina always gushed whenever I put on makeup.

  “Girl, please, where is your eyeliner and mascara?” Camille frowned. “You are an artist; you of all people should be able to paint your damn face.”

  I could see Loyal standing by our desks. He was laughing with Janice and Rosalyn. My heart skipped a beat. I tried to hold my smile in. I didn’t want to let anyone know what or who I was smiling at.

  “Y’all about to make me late for work.” I walked away as quickly as I could. I could feel Camille following me. Everyone in my section was laughing at something.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked as I set my bag down on my desk.

  “We are laughing at Romeo over here.” Janice continued to chuckle. “He comes in and finds this Edible Arrangement on his desk but claims he doesn’t know where it came from.”

  “I don’t.” Loyal’s and my eyes met.

  “You got it like that, Loyal?” Camille joined in. “Pretty-ass nigga got secret admirers and shit. Hell why isn’t it open? Can a girl get a strawberry?”

  Loyal let the women have their way with the Edible Arrangement. I watched them make fun of him and his admirers.

  “As long as they bring food I’m totally cool with them coming over here.” Janice took a bite of a pineapple sun.

  “Oh so as long as you guys get to eat it’s okay. But the second they come empty-handed ...”

  “It’s a wrap.” Janice and Loyal both laughed.

  “Would you like some?” Loyal said to me as I got my computer turned on. I shook my head no.

  I didn’t know how I was feeling in that moment. I wasn’t dumb and I had seen the women before. Could this really just be a secret admirer or was it something more? I felt my eyes trying to turn green but I wouldn’t let them. This wasn’t my man; he wasn’t even someone I was dating. At that point Loyal was just a coworker who happened to see me semi-nude.

  The rest of the day was going rather smoothly. Our coworkers were all off leaving us for the night haul. I ended a phone call with a customer who just wanted to complain about everything. I listened to the man complain about getting a renewal notice in the mail because we shouldn’t be sending mail to save the planet. I finally got off the phone and took a deep sigh.

  “Pineapple?”

  I turned to see Loyal holding the last of the arrangement in his hand. “Why not.” I pulled a pineapple off of the stick. I bit into the juicy fruit causing some of the juice to run down the side of my mouth. Loyal smiled and shook his head.

  “Let me get that.” With his thumb Loyal caught the juice flowing down the side of my face. He looked at me before placing his thumb in his mouth. “Tastes good.”

  I felt my body trying to betray me. I shifted in my seat as my panties moistened. “You are an ass.” I turned back to my computer screen.

  “Why am I an ass?” Loyal questioned.

  “You know exactly why.”

  “Loyal.”

  We both turned when the same face from the other night was walking back toward us. I shook my head as I turned back to my computer screen. I listened as she asked him how he liked the food. I noticed how easily he lied to her. She then mentioned something about an invitation being open. He told her he would let her know. I wanted to scream. Out of all the men for me to have this weird crush on I would pick the one every girl in the call center was trying to get.

  “So back to this whole ass thing.” Loyal didn’t skip a breath coming right back to me when she walked away.

  “Don’t you have an invitation to accept or something?” I picked up one of my pencils.

  Loyal smiled. “Someone was listening way too hard. This is why I said what I said Friday night.”

  The comment made me do a quick turn in my chair. “First off, I couldn’t help but hear. Good Lord, could you please give her some water ’cause she’s thirsty as hell.”

  Loyal laughed.

  “Second, you don’t know me. There hasn’t been a man or woman the whole time I have dated who made me fall for them because of their sex. The reason for that is because I am not a sexual person. I honestly couldn’t care less about sex.”

  “Is that right?” Loyal just smiled.

  “It’s right. I don’t even like sex usually. I just do it to please the other person.” I paused. I couldn’t believe I said that out loud.

  Loyal’s smile faded as well. “That’s not good, babe.”

  “Well, it’s the truth. Sex is dumb and I don’t understand the purpose of it. And yes, you can go right ahead and say that it must be the people I’m sleeping with just like everyone else says but it’s not. I just don’t like it.”

  “I am truly, truly sorry to hear that.” Loyal put his hand on my knee. “Because the person you are with should make it their mission to make sure you love every moment of it.”

  I felt my panties moistening again. I looked into Loyal’s beautiful eyes. I could tell he truly meant every word.

  The night ended. We turned our paperwork in and went our separate ways. I noticed that Loyal always walked through the call center before heading out the door. I knew he was probably making his rounds, saying good night to all the women who he messed with.

  The ride home seemed quicker than usual especially since I made a quick stop at the liquor store before going home. I popped open the bottle of Riesling and poured it into one of my larger wine glasses. Work was calling me. I knew I needed to get at least an hour in before calling it a night. My mind was restless thinking about the man who sat next to me at work. Why cou
ldn’t I stop thinking about him?

  My doorbell rang causing me to leave my daydream state. I wasn’t expecting anyone and it was much too late for any deliveries. Peeping through the peephole my heart dropped. There stood Loyal.

  “You know I can hear you right?” He laughed.

  I lowered my head and sighed; he busted me. With full pouty lip poked out I proceeded to open the door slightly. “What makes you think you can just show up at my crib?”

  Loyal took a step back. His look let me know he knew he was coming in at some point. “I was in the area, I called, you didn’t answer so I decided to take a chance. Got someone else over or something?”

  “So that just gives you the right just to show up?” I held my ground, holding the door close to me.

  The right side of Loyal’s mouth curled up. He took a step closer to the door. “Okay, so are we going to continue this witty banter or are you going to let me in?”

  For a moment I considered not letting him in. The last thing I wanted was some dude thinking he had the right to show up at my house unexpected. I didn’t even let women I dated do that. Then I looked at his cute smile. Slowly the door opened and he walked in.

  There we stood in the hallway again. My body was starting to betray me again with the anticipation of things that could happen. The sexual beast was having a full-fledged fight with the lesbian hard worker in me. This man was trouble and I knew it, but I couldn’t seem to conjure the words to tell him to leave.

  “What are you drinking?” Loyal took the glass from my hand and took a sip of my wine. He didn’t take his eyes off of me. Was he trying me to see what I would do? Was the showing up and drinking out of my glass some type of test to see what type of woman I was?

  “Why ask if you gon’ just drink from my glass?” I grabbed my glass back and walked to my kitchen, his footsteps following me. I pulled another glass out and poured Loyal a glass of wine. My eyes followed him as the glass hit his thick lips.

  “What are you doing in my area?” I questioned as I took another sip.

  “I don’t know really. I should be home but somehow I ended up all the way out here in Midtown. I was wondering if you could tell me the reason why?” Loyal’s eyes locked on me.