Choices Page 7

  Denise held Mema’s hand as the nurses removed all the machines.

  Mema was gone seven minutes later.

  Denise held Mema’s hand, crying. She couldn’t let go. She didn’t want to let go.

  She looked up at the drawer Mema told her to look in. Inside she found a letter. She read it.

  My Dede,

  You are the most important person in my life. When my own children were not there for me you always were. Your mother did the most important thing in the world when she gave you to me. I love you and I want you to stay strong forever. Do not let my leaving the Earth stop you from completing your goals. I want you to finish school and become the first one in our family to graduate college. Continue basketball. I always loved watching you play. You are so good.

  And, last, I want you to open your heart up again. Don’t let one person stop you from loving again. I don’t care if it is a man or a woman; I just want you to love. You have a big heart, and someone deserves to feel all the love that you always showed me. You keep your friends close. Cooley and Carmen are your family, and I always want you to remember that just because they are not blood does not mean they are not your family. I love both of them as though they were my grandchildren as well. Please let them know that. I love you forever, Dede. I’ll forever watch over you.

  Mema

  Denise held the letter close to her heart and took a deep breath. She knew Mema wouldn’t want her crying. She dried her eyes and finally let go of her Mema’s hand.

  Outside the hospital room, Lena looked at Tammy. She could tell she was Denise’s mother. They had the same height, but her mother was frail; the drug usage had worn her body.

  Tammy looked at Lena. “Hi, I’m Tammy, Denise’s mom.”

  “Oh, I am Lena. I’m her roommate.” Tammy’s eyes widened.

  “So you the roommate. You wanna get some coffee with me?”

  They headed down to the cafeteria. Lena didn’t know what to think of Tammy.

  “You know, me and Denise ain’t close. I hate it, but it’s true. I been messed up awhile with thangs, but I’m getting my life together now.”

  “I understand.” Lena just agreed, she really didn’t understand. She came from a very wealthy family; her mother and father were still together and very happy. Denise was the first less fortunate person she’d been close to.

  “I hate that my baby been through so much ’cause of me. The rest of the family, they fucking assholes, treat her like shit ’cause she special. You know she is the first in our family to go to college?”

  Tammy added sugar to her coffee.

  “Um, yeah, she told me. Denise is very special.” Lena headed to the vending machine.

  “Yes, she is. Damn shame what that girl did to her. Made her so hard now.”

  Lena knew something had happened in Denise’s past. She always wondered why she never dated anyone.

  “Oh, I didn’t know about any girl—”

  “Yeah, some girl she fell in love with. She did my baby wrong because she didn’t know what she wanted. Denise has never given another girl the time of day, well, until you.”

  Lena stopped in her tracks. Did she hear Tammy right?

  “I’m sorry. What do you mean, until me. Um, do you think me and Denise are dating?”

  “No. I know you’re not. You got a boyfriend, right, football player.”

  “Basketball.”

  “Yeah, see, that’s what concerns me. Denise finally likes someone, and it’s a girl that she will never have.”

  Lena started to feel funny. Could Tammy be telling the truth? Did Denise have a crush on her?

  “Um, ma’am, I assure you, I don’t think you’re right about this. Denise has never expressed anything to me, and we are just friends.”

  “If that’s what you think. Just as long as you make sure to keep that clear, maybe she won’t fall anymore for you.”

  “I really don’t think it’s anything like that. Has Denise said this to you?” Lena had to know if there was any truth to what was being said.

  “No, she hasn’t, but when your name is brought up, I see the way she looks. I know she likes you, much more than she will ever say.” Tammy grabbed another cup. “Let me get my baby some coffee.”

  “Oh no. Denise doesn’t drink coffee; I got her an apple juice.”

  That statement made Tammy look up. “Well, you sure do know her very well, I see.”

  “Well, we are roommates.”

  “I guess so.”

  They headed back to the elevator.

  “So, are you sure that you are completely all about your boyfriend?”

  Lena really didn’t want to answer the question; the whole conversation was making her very uneasy.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m more than sure that we are getting married.”

  “Good. Well, please remember that, because I don’t want my baby getting hurt. I think she has been through enough without adding the drama of a curious girl trying to make her into her own little experiment.”

  Lena didn’t respond, she just looked at Tammy.

  They made it down the hall just in time to see the nurses bringing the machines out of Mema’s room.

  Denise walked out of the room. She looked drained. She laid her head against the wall.

  Lena’s heart was breaking looking at her roommate in so much pain.

  “Denise.” Lena put her hand on Denise’s shoulder.

  Denise turned around and looked at her.

  “I am sorry for keeping you out so early in the morning, but if it’s possible, can you take me to my gran’s house?”

  “Of course, anything.”

  They headed to Mema’s house in complete silence. Denise stared out the window the whole time. Lena didn’t know what to say, so she just drove.

  They pulled up into the neighborhood. Mema’s street was one of the few well-maintained streets in the neighborhood. The rest were very run-down. The only reason that street looked decent was because nothing but older people who had owned the houses for years lived on the block.

  The house was very small; it was smaller than the guest house at Lena’s parents’ home in the Hamptons.

  “Just give me a few minutes,” Denise said as she opened the front door.

  The inside was very neat. It hadn’t been dusted in a long time, but you could tell the house usually was very neat.

  Lena sat down on the plastic-covered couch. She had never actually sat on a couch with plastic on it; she smiled when she thought about the jokes that were made by comedians about plastic on the furniture.

  Suddenly Lena heard a loud bang. She ran to the back to find Denise on the ground, picking up boxes that had fallen out of a closet. Lena started to help her.

  “No, I got it. I got to do it myself.” Denise was shaking.

  Lena felt helpless. “Denise, please just let me help you.” She grabbed Denise’s hands and put her arms around her.

  “No, I got to be strong, I got to be.” Denise started to cry, and went limp in Lena’s arms just like a little child.

  “It’s okay. You are not weak, you are very strong, and you deserve to cry, so just let it out.”

  Denise continued to cry.

  Lena helped her up and walked her over to the bed. She pulled the covers back and had Denise lay down. She pulled Denise’s shoes off of her; she had done that plenty of times for Brandon when he was too drunk to do it for himself. She covered her up and turned the light off to go into the other room.

  “Lena,” Denise called out.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Just into the other room to lie on the couch.”

  “No. Please, don’t leave me alone in here.” Denise pulled the other half of the covers back.

  Lena took her shoes off and climbed into the bed.

  Denise put her arm around Lena and pulled her close. They cuddled and fell asleep.

  Lena couldn’t believe it, but she actually felt good in Denise’s arms. She was glad to be there to help her through
her time of need.

  Chapter 9

  Emotions were high the day of Mema’s funeral. Not only did Denise lose her grandmother, Cooley and Carmen felt as though they lost theirs as well.

  Carmen looked at herself in the mirror; her eyes were puffy and red. She couldn’t believe she was going to Mema’s funeral. What a way to end the semester.

  Cooley put her hand on Carmen’s shoulder. Mema meant a lot to both of them. Cooley considered Mema her grandmother too.

  Carmen was from Jackson, Mississippi. Mema opened her arms and home to both her and Cooley, and instantly both felt like family. Mema taught Carmen how to cook and clean. She came from a pampering mother who always did everything for her, including her laundry and ironing. Now Carmen could do everything herself, and she owed that to Denise’s grandmother.

  “Are you okay, boo?” Cooley asked Carmen, wiping a tear that fell from her face.

  “I’ll be fine. I have to be strong for Dee . . .” She was interrupted by the sound of “My Little Secret” by Xscape playing on her phone. She quickly tried to press ignore, but Cooley had already noticed the song choice.

  “Who’s your little secret?” Cooley knew that Carmen always picked ring tones that matched the personality of the person. At the moment Carmen used P.I.M.P. by 50 Cent for Cooley.

  “No one special.” Carmen turned away; she knew Cooley could read her like a book.

  “Man, whatever. You’re lying, but we got to go, so I’m not gonna press you for the information until later.”

  They headed out the door to the funeral.

  The funeral was much more than they expected. Lena called her father to pull some strings; she ended up getting most of the funeral donated. Her father was a very important person, and businesses jumped at the chance to be involved with him in anyway.

  Carmen walked up to Denise. She could tell her friend was having a hard time, but she was holding herself together. They were all assembled in the family room of the church; Carmen noticed a strange look on her friend.

  “Dee, are you okay?” she asked, putting her hand on her shoulder.

  “I’m cool now, but I know one of these fools is going to act crazy, and I don’t want to deal with that today.”

  Denise’s family was completely different from her. Although they came from the most loving woman that Carmen knew, Denise’s family was cruel and mean. Mema had two children, Tammy, Denise’s mom, and Charles, who had one daughter that he claimed, Shemeka. Charles and Shemeka were always jealous of the way that Mema treated Denise.

  Charles and Tammy both got into drugs. Charles had straightened up from the drugs a few years ago, but was still a worthless man. Although there were seven other kids who he helped to make, he only claimed Shemeka. He never kept a job and enjoyed living off others.

  Mema gave him money all the time, and he wouldn’t even cut her grass. Carmen remembered Mema waiting on him to come and cut her grass, but he never showed up, giving all sorts of excuses why. Finally after two more weeks had passed, Cooley cut the grass for her. Carmen never understood how Mema’s own children could treat her the way they did. During one of Tammy’s drug fits she stole some of Mema’s jewelry and pawned it for crack money.

  Shemeka was Carmen’s least favorite of Denise’s relatives. She had seven kids by seven different men, but always put down Denise for being gay. Last year at Thanksgiving Carmen almost lost it with her when she made a comment about Denise bringing Cooley and Carmen to dinner.

  “I don’t understand why people want to push their lifestyles on people who don’t want to be around it,” Shemeka said, rubbing her pregnant belly.

  From the moment they’d walked in the house she had been making comments about homosexuality. Denise tried to ignore it, but she couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Shemeka, why don’t you shut the fuck up?” Denise yelled. It wasn’t often that Denise got mad, but when she did, it wasn’t a pretty sight.

  “Whatever, Denise. Don’t curse at me. Didn’t no one tell you to bring them to our family dinner. It’s bad enough you go around dressing like a boy, but then you bring that girl here,” she snapped, pointing at Cooley. “I don’t need my kids around this perverted shit!”

  Carmen couldn’t take it. “Oh, and when did adultery stop being a sin?”

  “Didn’t nobody ask you anything, you fat-ass dyke!”

  “Yo’, don’t be disrespecting my friends like that!” Denise said, getting all in Shemeka’s face.

  Before anything else could happen, Mema rolled her wheelchair into the room.

  “Now, both of y’all, stop this nonsense. Last time I checked, the only person who could judge anyone was God. So if one of you thinks that you’re better than God, then you need to leave this house, ’cause there is only one that can judge in this house!” Mema said.

  Denise and Carmen apologized to Mema for disrespecting her household. Shemeka just rubbed her stomach. She wasn’t going to leave and miss out on a good, free meal.

  They all walked into the sanctuary. It was beautiful, the flowers were gorgeous, and the casket was just perfect for Mema.

  Carmen hugged Lena. “You are a great friend to all of us,” she whispered.

  “I just wanted to make things easy for Dee. I hate seeing her in pain.” Lena looked at Denise.

  Carmen noticed the dreamy-eyed expression on Lena’s face.

  They all sat down on the front row after viewing Mema one last time. All holding hands, they waited for the rest of the people to get to their seats. Just then the doors from the back of the sanctuary opened with a loud scream.

  “Ohhh, lawww wddd. Why? Why? Why? you take Meeeeeemaaaaa?” Shemeka walked in slowly, crying and wailing the whole way down the aisle.

  If she was this upset, why the hell was she never around to help Denise with Mema?” Cooley whispered to Carmen.

  “Hell, if I know. I knew that girl was going to cause a scene.” Carmen looked at Denise, who looked completely mortified. Lena looked shocked; she had never seen anything like it.

  “Why? Whyyyyyyy, Lawww wdddd? Bring her baaaaacccckkkk!”

  The children walked behind her. The oldest girl looked very embarrassed by her mother’s spectacle.

  Shemeka threw herself on the casket. “Commmeee bacccckkkk!”

  “Wow! Doesn’t she look like that final scene in Imitation of Life?” Carmen whispered to Cooley, who had to catch herself from laughing at the whole thing.

  Denise went to stand up. Carmen grabbed her hand. She knew her friend was going to do something she didn’t need to do.

  The ushers were finally able to calm Shemeka down. She turned around to sit on the front row and quickly went from hurting to being upset when she saw them sitting on the front row.

  “Um, excuse me, deacon, but I thought the front row was for family?” she said, rolling her eyes at Carmen.

  Cooley squeezed Carmen’s hand, knowing that she was ready to react to the comment.

  “They are my family, more of my family, than you have ever been to me or Mema, so, sit down on another pew or get out,” Denise responded. She was very calm, but the tone of her voice made Shemeka know she was not playing with her.

  Shemeka huffed and made her way to the first available pew for her and her kids.

  Denise looked at Carmen and smiled. Carmen knew then that her friend was going to be all right.

  “Hey, baby, I just wanted to give you a call. I am heading to the reading of Denise’s grandmother’s will. For some reason it seems like she left something for Cooley and me. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and I guess I will talk to you later.”

  Carmen had been back with Tameka for almost three months and still was hiding it from Cooley and Denise. She knew that they wouldn’t agree. She was more afraid of what Cooley might do to Tameka if she found out.

  “You ready to roll out?” Cooley said as she walked into the room.

  “Yeah, give me just a second.” Carmen grabbed her purse, and the
y headed down to Denise’s room.

  When they walked up to the door they could hear sobbing in the room. Carmen’s heart began to break; she knew it was Denise crying.

  “What are we going to do? You know she isn’t going to want us to see her like that,” Carmen whispered to Cooley, who was thinking the same thing.

  “Okay. Let’s walk back and talk loud so she can hear us through the door.”

  They took a few steps back.

  “Damn, Carmen, get off my dick, why don’t you!” Cooley yelled.

  “You wish you had a dick I could be on!” Carmen yelled back as she knocked on the door.

  “Hold up a moment,” Denise yelled through the door.

  Carmen and Cooley knew that she was trying to gain her composure before answering the door. They continued their act until she opened the door.

  Denise’s eyes were still very red, but they both acted as though they knew nothing.

  “Denise, can we go before this girl makes me want to kill her?” Carmen said as she hugged Denise.

  “Yeah, we can roll out. Just let me get my jacket.”

  Denise was obviously shaken; she already had her jacket on. Carmen grabbed her arm, helping her notice that she had the jacket on.

  “Damn, y’all. Look, I’m sorry. Today is just a little rough on me.”

  “We understand. You know you can let any emotion out with us whenever you need to.” Carmen put her arms around Denise. She wished she could absorb some of the pain she was feeling.

  “Yeah, I know. Thanks again, but let’s just go and get this fiasco over with.”

  They headed out the door to the attorney’s office.

  Denise looked around the room, filled with the people in her grandmother’s will. She had been honored to learn that Mema had left something for Carmen and Cooley as well.

  Shemeka and her father Charles walked into the room. They were both smiling.

  “Well, let’s get this reading on!” Charles said as he strutted in the room. He sat down in the first chair. Shemeka sat next to her father, both grinning from ear to ear.